Like the many cities before mine, Indianapolis is gearing up to be graced with the presence of Taylor Swift and The Eras Tour. Even the dinosaurs are wearing friendship bracelets! As someone who is deeply invested in both Taylor Swift and defensive driving, I’ve noticed a pattern: Ms. Swift writes about some pretty questionable drivers. I’ve scoured her lyrics and found the most concerning ones from each era.
Self-Titled
Our list wouldn’t be complete without "Our Song." The track begins innocently enough: "I was ridin’ shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car". The very next line, however, shows us otherwise. When I first heard Swift sing "He’s got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel / the other on my heart," my teenage heart SWOONED. That’s the pinnacle of romance. Looking back on all of that as an adult, on the other hand, is another story. I need that boy to take his hand off her heart and place it back on the steering wheel, preferably in the four o’clock position.
Fearless (Taylor’s Version)
Unfortunately, Taylor’s second album doesn’t show much growth in terms of the types of drivers she dates. On the dreamy title track, we see all kinds of hazards. The song begins by acknowledging that it’s just rained and the streets are wet. It takes longer to come to a complete stop on wet pavement than on dry pavement, so this is a time where we would hope the driver is being extra alert and cautious. Sadly, that’s not the case. We see the driver run their hands through their hair (did we learn nothing from the last era?).
Later in the song, Taylor asks the driver to drive slow (smart!) then says, "I wanna stay right here in this passenger seat / You put your eyes on me." I’m glad they’re driving slow here, but let’s get those eyes on the road and off the passenger.
Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)
Taylor’s third album and its rerecording confirmed something we already knew: Taylor Lautner is great. The moment he appeared in the "I Can See You" video premiere, followed by his cartwheels on stage, is one of The Eras Tour’s most unforgettable moments. In "Back to December (Taylor’s Version)," Tay Tay is laughing from the passenger seat as Boy Tay (iykyk) is driving. There’s no mention of him looking away from the road, and we love to see it.
Red (Taylor’s Version)
Remember a couple eras ago when Taylor’s date had their eyes on her instead of the road? Our girl may have a type! Consider these lines from the masterpiece that is "All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) (Ten Minute Version) (From the Vault)":
Cuz here we are again on this little town street
You almost ran the red cuz you were looking over at me.
So not only are they getting lost on their drive upstate, man’s not even paying attention to traffic laws. The flags are as red as the scarf.
1989 (Taylor’s Version)
As a die-hard 1989 (Taylor’s Version) fan, I was disappointed to see that once again, Taylor is caught up with an unsafe driver. There are two notable lyrics here, the first from "Out of the Woods (Taylor’s Version)":
Remember when you hit the brakes too soon
Twenty stitches in a hospital room.
Here in one of the top bridges of her discography, we see someone who clearly needs some defensive driving lessons, particularly on driving in the snow, as we learned on the track "Is It Over Now? (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault)":
When you lost control / Red blood, white snow.
Someone please tell a certain British singer (allegedly) that you need to slow down and give yourself extra time to come to a stop when driving on the snow. It also might be worth a mention that he needs to keep his "wild eyes" on the road, judging by lyrics in "Style."
Reputation
The Reputation era comes with many gifts, one of them being "Getaway Car." The title of the song says everything we need to know. Like Taylor says, "Nothing good starts in a getaway car."
Lover
"Cruel Summer" has been my personal song of the summer since 2019, and with its prominent spot as the second song of The Eras Tour, it’s finally gotten the recognition it deserves. There is a line, however, that troubles me. The song is about two lovers who have spent the summer meeting up in secret. When Taylor sings, "So cut the headlights," it’s clear that she is alluding to turning off the car’s headlights at night so they won’t be seen together. That’s a great way to land yourself in a collision, which would put an even bigger spotlight on the relationship! It reminds me of these lyrics of "Style (Taylor’s Version):"
Midnight / You come and pick me up / No headlights / Long drive / Could end in burning flames or paradise.
Of course, Taylor is speaking metaphorically here, but I can’t help but note that driving at midnight without your headlights on could very well end up in literal burning flames from a collision. Keep the headlights on, guys!
folklore
I won’t make assumptions, but I think James might be better suited for a skateboard than a car. He may only be seventeen, but he should know better than to stop at a streetlight for a kiss. At least pick a parking lot, buddy!
evermore
The evermore album is a favorite of mine. Like many of us, I grew up belting the words to "Goodbye Earl" by The Chicks before I even knew what they were talking about. With "no body, no crime," Taylor and Haim embody the spirit of the country murder ballad. I don’t have many complaints about the driving skills used in this song; in fact, I’m quite pleased that the narrator actually had her boating license when she did... whatever she did (allegedly).
Midnights
On her tenth studio album, Taylor shows us some genuinely good decision-making skills! The song "Hits Different" shows the singer struggling to get over a breakup. She talks about going out to the bar and indicates that she is too intoxicated to drive, saying "I slur your name ’til someone puts me in a car." We love a responsible queen.
The Tortured Poets Department
While Tay mentions driving several times on her latest album, there’s one song that is an immediate red flag: "imgonnagetyouback." Consider these lyrics: "I’m an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch / Then ran and hid." Later in the song she says "Even if it’s handcuffed / I’m leaving here with you." Considering the fact that the person in question chose to flee the scene of a collision, leaving in handcuffs is a pretty safe bet.
And before we leave The Tortured Poets Department, I have a message for the muse who inspired "The Manuscript": You should really consider becoming an organ donor.
So, there you have it: a deep dive into Taylor Swift’s lyrics, revealing a disturbing trend: her penchant for dating drivers who seem to ignore the rules of the road. Let’s all take a page out of a safe driver’s handbook (unlike some of Taylor’s muses) and drive defensively!
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